女人如水(四)
他们没有吵架,也没有纷争,也就没有解决他们之间的问题。男孩选择放弃。在知道男孩的决定前,她给男孩写了一封信。
My sweetest Baby,
I never expected my first love letter to you like this. But I can’t help but write it down and send it to you.
I should apologize. The moment I walked out of the classroom like a hard-cored stone, leaving you turning back from the seat, staring at me like a stranger, I felt heart-broken. I will never forget that moment my whole life. I ate little that evening. You know I never liked a bike on my own and I never want to separate “yours” from “mine” and “ours”. I never want to fix our date on a certain date, and limited hour. Every moment with you is so dear and happy to me.
I meant to hurt you unconsciously and make my presence felt. Then I realized when you felt hurt, I felt heart-broken. I used to think that you are a heartless optimistic boy, who knows nothing about romance, let alone obstacles in love and life. Although I still believe so, I realized you are not heartless, and not a child any more. You got colorful emotion. You will feel blue and gray, too. The day you looked at me with troubled eyes and frowning, my feeling was complex. I would not eat back my words, but I want to cry. I am just a girl who is familiar to you, but needs your love and caring more than before. Once in love, I just want to be like any common girls, cradling in your arms, shopping with you hand in hand, imagining a carefully designed romantic date in the city or at home. Consider that we have never had such a romantic date, I decided to do something. But if the by-product is your unhappiness, I would rather I did nothing.
Maybe that kind of love is too strong and heavy for our young and innocent heart. Ideal love should promote mutual improvement rather than drown into a deep ocean of love. My sensitivity walked hopelessly into the ocean, and came across your sense, thus comes the troubled moment.
These are my thoughts in the night. I can’t hurt anybody due to my consciousness, let alone your innocent soul. Hope you will recover from the wound of deep love soon.
Lv. Me
